Olive Oyl was hospitalized yesterday after a visit to psychiatrist Siegfried Roy, who determined that she suffered from anorexia nervosa. She was admitted to the Betty Boop Clinic, and is expected to be there for several weeks. Ms. Oyl was not available for comment.
Anorexia nervosa is a mainly psychological condition in which the sufferer has an aversion to body fat and has a distorted self-image. These factors incline the sufferer to engage in eating patterns which can lead to other serious illnesses, and in extreme cases can result in death. Anorexic eating behaviors tend to result in a body form known as toothpicky, which may be attractive to skeleton people, but which is very unattractive to almost everyone else.
According to a friend, Olive Oyl began seeing a psychiatrist to deal with relationship issues. For many years she had been wooed by two suitors, Popeye the Sailor Man and Bluto, and she was having trouble staying committed to one or the other, tending to prefer whichever one happened to be winning the current day’s fight. Usually the winner was Popeye, but she would have been equally happy to go with Bluto, also known as Brutus. She was beginning to wonder if her fickleness was normal, and if there was something she could do about it.
Popeye and Bluto both stopped by the Betty Boop Clinic to visit with Olive Oyl. Questioned by a reporter at the entrance to the clinic, Popeye said that he had always thought that Olive was a bit too skinny, but that she was what she was and he loved her anyway. He said he had never wanted to be critical of her, particularly since she had always seemed so ready to drop him for Bluto at a moment’s notice.
Bluto was already inside of the clinic when Popeye entered, and a fight between them soon broke out. They were both ejected from the clinic, and permanently banned from the premises.
Olive Oyl’s medical doctor estimated Ms. Oyl’s chances of improvement at about eighty percent, although the likelihood of a full recovery was somewhat less than fifty percent. The doctor said that the most likely treatment would involve regular psychiatric sessions, and a high calorie diet. He said that in a few weeks she should look considerably less toothpicky, and more like a regular person.